Thursday, March 20, 2008

Group 4 "Dark Sister"

1 comment:

honeybee said...

Group 4
"Dark Sister"

I really liked the idea behind your story. I liked how the "bad guy" was someone from within the family. I would maybe build the story up more before you jump right inot blamong the sister. It will convince your reader more to believe what she has done, as well as make the story more suspenseful. There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes that you may want to make corrections on. Also there were some tense errors that made the story confusing.